What are the three things you should never do at the airport?

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Hey Traveler, welcome back to Talk Travel to Me. This week I'm answering the question: what are three things you should absolutely never do in an airport? I spend a fair amount of time in airports and the things I've seen are outrageous. Plus, I do happen to spend a lot of time on social media and, as you might imagine, my algorithm features a lot of travel-related content. So let's talk about those things you should absolutely never ever do in an airport. So first of all, there are many things I think, in my opinion, you should never be doing in an airport or maybe in public at all ever. Like you shouldn't take off your shoes or other clothing. You shouldn't lay on the floor—like, people walk all over that floor in and out of bathrooms, and they are not that spick-and-span clean. Also, laying on the floor with your shoes off... like, I just saw that in Orlando the other day and I was stunned.

You shouldn't block aisles in the area where people are sitting. And also, why would you ever, ever save an entire row of seats when you're traveling, either by yourself or with one other person? I legitimately saw that recently in Manchester, New Hampshire and I thought to myself, maybe they just have a whole family joining them. Nope. I watched this gentleman save an entire row of seats, tell people that, 'No, sorry, people are coming,' and then he got on the flight all by himself. Whew. Also, please do not ignore your responsibilities to parent the children you brought into the airport with you. And on a similar vein, don't be parenting children that you did not bring yourself into an airport. Like, no. But obviously that could be helped if the person who brought the children are now parenting them. You know what I'm saying.

And then one that is hysterical that I have seen a lot of gate agents talk about on the socials and I've seen it happen in person is you're doing the boarding process and they say, 'Okay, we're going to, you know, group A, please come.' Like, you're ready to board, and people just crowd in, and they actually have a term for it—it's called gate lice, which is so great. But you have people that are like group D running up there and crowding everything because they want to be the first people to get there on group D. Please, that's crazy. Just don't do it, okay? But there are three things that you should never ever do in an airport, and that's what I'm here to talk about mostly today. These are really non-negotiables—I mean, if you want to be allowed to stay in the airport anyway.

First off, do not seek contact with service dogs, police dogs, or try to determine on your own who needs accommodations for a disability. I saw this recently and it was so offensive. There was a Chatty Cathy and she was very loudly discussing somebody else in the airport and the accommodations they were using. Let's just suffice it to say that she didn't think that they needed accommodations of any sort and that they were getting special treatment, and how rotten and wrong and unfair that is. So I promise there's somebody at the airport who has the job to determine what accommodations are necessary, and you ain't it. That's not your job. Leave people alone. In an airport, the most you should be doing with your fellow travelers is smiling, talking about the weather, commenting on their cute outfits or their fun luggage types... like, whatever. You should not be putting on any of your thoughts about the accommodations they need or don't need or making just unnecessary comments.

I actually very recently heard a woman that was going through TSA, which she was disclosing that she had breast milk in her bag because you have to declare that obviously it is a liquid. And then someone like two behind me started talking about how unnecessary breastfeeding is these days, we have perfectly good formula. I could not help myself, you guys. I had to turn around and just look at her and glare until she put her face down because I was like, first of all, what are you doing? Second of all, how this woman decides to feed her child has zero bearing on your life. Whether she wants to breastfeed or doesn't want to, whatever she's doing, shut your mouth. It has nothing to do with you. Stay out of it.

I did want to mention that there is something called the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Program. And if you or someone you love has a hidden disability—whether that is autism, dementia, chronic pain, anxiety, anything where they could use some extra time, some consideration from airport employees—this program is in a lot of airports, globally too. It actually started in the UK and many of the airports in the United States have adopted it as well. You can get a free lanyard at the airport information booth and you don't have to explain why you need it. You don't have to tell anybody anything that you don't want to tell them. You could actually just wear the lanyard or you could wear the lanyard with a note on it that says what it is that you're struggling with, whatever. But it is a fabulous program that allows people that are dealing with any type of hidden or invisible disability to alert the airport personnel who have been trained on this particular lanyard, so when they see it, they know. It allows you to alert them quietly that you are going to need a little extra time and consideration. You may not answer questions the way that they're expecting you to, like all of that type of thing. I highly recommend it for anybody that is nervous that maybe their child will say something that isn't something you want to say at the airport or anything like that. So that is there.

And if it's not you, if you don't need that kind of accommodation, mind your business. Stay out of it. You worry about you because there's enough that you need to worry about getting through the airport that you should be concerned about for yourself and not worried about what Johnny and Danielle or whatever are doing. Let them handle themselves.

Number two: you never ever want to mention things like weapons, anything related to the September 11th attacks, or anything about any sort of purported acts of violence. You don't want to mention the words, you don't want to make jokes about it, you don't want to make any references, any comments, any of it, right? The only time that you should ever use one of these words—and I'm trying to be careful because sometimes platforms will flag things, and so I don't want to do that—but let's say you have a legitimate reason to bring a firearm to your destination. You can do that in checked luggage, and so you would have to go up to the airline desk in the airport and declare that you have this. That's the only time that you should ever be making any sort of mention of something like that. And it's not just related to airports, let's be real. You could be talking about the news, you could be talking about a story that you heard from a friend that has nothing to do with the airport. But the point here is that the airport is never the place to have that conversation. Talk to your people about it before you go in. Remind them, especially if you have teenagers and young adults, that sort of thing, who may not have been thinking about it. But you want to make sure that, you know, that's not something that you're voicing in the airport anywhere. Once you get into your car, you could say whatever you want. But while you're in the airport, none of that.

And the third and final thing, at least for today, is never, ever argue with an airline employee or TSA. I mean, could I be any more clear? Never. Even if you think you're being wronged, nothing. Take note of the person, their name, their badge, whatever, without being a weirdo and like getting in their face about it. If you need to talk to somebody after you're at the airport, after you're either home or where you're going, and you feel like there's a training opportunity for these people, that's fine. Do not argue with them in the airport, because if you do, you are likely to be asked to leave. I know you've all seen this on social media because the videos are everywhere—people that are either still in the airport having a fit. There was one that I saw that literally had like eight parts to it. This woman was really upset that her flight was delayed or canceled and she needed to get home. So does everybody else, right? Like, nobody's in the airport because they just want to hang out at the airport. People have places they need to be, they need to get to. This lady lost her ever-loving mind and probably five minutes into it, she was told that she was no longer welcome on this particular airline, that they had canceled her flights, they had canceled the flight that had been rescheduled for her, and that she was going to have to find another way home. Well, instead of just leaving—because you have no more business here, ma'am, it's time to go—instead of doing that, she continued to escalate the situation. Before you know it, the police were called. Her husband's trying to call her back to reality and he's like, 'Listen, we're going to rent a car and just drive home. Come on.' She was not having any of it because she thought she had been wronged and was going to, you know, wreak havoc. She was going to own that airline. Such a wild thought. But what ended up happening is she left the airport in handcuffs and was charged with like major crimes, because that's what happens when you're inside an airport, folks. You can't act like a fool. They will hold you accountable. It never will go the way that you want it to go.

So there is a difference. Obviously if you're going through security and you're not sure about something... so let's say this happened to me, actually: I was coming back to the United States from Jamaica, and I am a diabetic, and so one of the things that I had been told that I could bring with me on the plane were protein shakes. Now it's kind of treated like medicine, so it falls under that—the same thing as breast milk, medicine, that kind of thing. I was told I could take the protein shakes through security. So I walked up with two sealed protein shake containers and I said, as I put it down in the bin, I said to the worker (who was not TSA because it was Jamaica), I said, 'These are medicine.' And the guy looked at me and went, 'No, those are Fairlife protein shakes.' And I said, 'Oh, yes.' I said, 'I'm diabetic and I need to have access to food, including protein, at all times, and there's no other way for me to do that without the protein shakes.' He looked at me like I was crazy, like he'd never heard of this entire thing. And I said, 'Is there someone we could talk to that I can explain the medication exemption to?' And he said, 'Sure.' He was a little, you know, a little sassy about it, but I was very careful how I presented myself and that I was not arguing, but I was asking for help. And I will admit, I can be a little—I can be a little Karen at times. I'm working on it because I don't like that. I can advocate without being difficult. But in this situation, I know I was being cool, calm, collected, and respectful. The supervisor came over, said, 'What's going on?' and I explained, and he said, 'Oh, okay, yeah, that's fine. We just have to do some extra screening.' So they did some wanding of the bottles, they did some extra wanding of me, and there I go with my protein shakes. I don't travel with them often; now I actually have more options as far as protein bars and that sort of thing, so I'm more likely to do that. But if I need them, I know that that is a medication exemption and I can use that. But that's not arguing, right? That's asking for clarification, kindly asking to talk to somebody that understands a specific exemption. That's how that's done.

I've also seen people literally tear into TSA agents. I've seen TSA agents walk away and the next thing you see is airport security and that person being kicked right out of line. They have a really low- to no-tolerance policy when it comes to this kind of stuff, so you've got to be super, super careful how you go about presenting any sort of issues that you have.

We know that the TSA does not always have the friendliest disposition, and as I'm recording this episode, they are still not getting their full pay. So I kind of understand what it must be like to be forced to go to work but not get paid and have the mortgage company looking for their money, and you're like, 'Hey, I can't even put gas in my car.' So I understand all of that. But knowing when you go in that they are overworked, overstressed, and don't always have the friendliest disposition, you need to be that person if you want to get through the airport, right? If you want to be a jerk, you could be a jerk and then you could just take whatever happens. But my goal for you is to actually get to your destination, get to your vacation, or get home afterwards, so I'm saying you want to make sure that you go out of your way. 'Hey there. Oh yeah, thank you.' And they'll be like, 'Put your stuff here, whatever,' and you're like, 'Great, thank you so much.' It's not outrageous to say things like, 'Thanks for coming to work today, especially in times like these.' Be a human, but understand that they're working quickly, right? You can't talk to the person that's actually running the scanner, looking at the bags—you can't do that. But the person that greets you, the person that checks your ID or your boarding pass, like all of that, that's the time to do that. I have heard a lot of people recently have talked about wanting to offer like gift cards or even cash like to help them because of the situation that they're in. Do not do that while you're in line because it'll look like a bribe and that's going to cause a whole other scene. But what you can do is there are always supervisors just past security. So now you've gone through, you've got your bags, and you're ready to move on through the airport. There are always supervisors there. Sometimes they're at podiums, sometimes they're just kind of over-watching the entire thing. That is the person that you can walk over to and say, 'I know that it's been an especially difficult time right now, I'd like to offer gas gift cards. Here are five that I bought,' or what have you, right? That's where you can do that. I have heard that the cash thing still feels a little weird, so I don't think I would recommend doing that at all. I think I'd go with gift cards and do it for things like gas and groceries and maybe like, you know, quick-service restaurants in the area, that sort of thing. Because the reality is they are working, some of them still without a paycheck, and things are getting really difficult because I can't imagine, I can't even imagine what that's like. But that's a nice thing to do.

But never argue with them. If you are late to your flight and you walk up to the gate and the door is closed, there is no point in arguing with them. They're not opening that door for you, right? They have a specific time that they close that door. You were not there. And whether it's because you were Rip Van Winkle at another gate, or because you had to run to the bathroom one more time, it doesn't matter what the reason is: the door is closed. You want to approach them and say, 'Oh my goodness, I see that the door is closed and I was supposed to be on that flight. How do I make accommodations for getting on the next flight?' or 'What are my options?' That sort of thing. That's going to get you a lot further, a lot further. If you walk up and you're like, 'I need to be on that flight, blah, blah, blah,' you're getting nothing. You're getting nothing, and they're not going to budge whatsoever. On that same vein, if you are in an airport or if you've actually boarded the plane, if someone tells you you're not flying, you need to get off the aircraft, you need to leave the area, whatever it is, just do it. Do not argue, because the moment they say that to you, the decision has been made and they are not changing their minds. So that's one of those things that you see people, they're like, 'No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.' New York. If that decision has been made—whether it's at the gate, whether it's at the ticket counter because you've had some sort of an issue or whatever it is—you're not getting on. All you're going to do is cause a scene and potentially land on the no-fly list, so that's a no-go. That's something you're never going to do. You can argue your case later. I've actually known real-life people that have been denied boarding, and they have left the airport completely calm, all the things, right? They've gone home and had a refund issued to them based on the situation, but it's because they didn't end up acting like a fool and causing a bigger scene. The person at the desk for whatever reason has already decided you're not flying. Arguing with them is never, ever going to work, so don't do it. Save yourself the hassle. And I mean, I think about sometimes, I literally late night sometimes, wide awake thinking about what I would do if I was ever put on a no-fly list. Like now, obviously I own a travel agency and traveling is a huge part of my life, but even for anybody, like you, what would happen? I don't know. Something I'm going to ponder probably many nights to come, even though my behavior in an airport has never been in question.

Alrighty, that is one more question unpacked. If you have a travel stumper you want me to tackle or if you're ready to let a pro handle the heavy lifting for your next vacation, send a text to the show, come find us at mickeyguru.com or take a peek at the show notes and find our other contact information. We are also posting on social media on Instagram and TikTok using the handle @TalkTraveltoMePod. And I would love for you to come over there, drop questions, weigh in on the discussions. I'd love any interaction that you're willing to bring to the table. Alrighty, we will see you next week where I'll be answering the question: can you have fun on a cruise with a baby in tow? See you real soon.

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